Posts Tagged by Trainer
|March 14, 2013||Posted by Ruth under Inspirational & motivational, LOLs & BOLs, Pup culture, Training/Behavior, Videos|
When I decided to write creatively, it was a relief to leave the politically correct how-to’s behind.
I was writing instructional tips that doubled as marketing for my business. That was fine until it began to feel like writing in quicksand, hand-cuffed. Why? Because it wasn’t an honest expression of my soul. I had to switch gears and be true to myself. Letting my inner voice out does mean that I’ll upset some folks. I’m finding, however, that the older I get, the less I care what others think. And that’s a very good thing.
Recently, I mentioned to my mom that I was writing for this site.
She asked with great concern, “You’re going to keep it clean, aren’t you? None of that language, right?” I told her I couldn’t make any promises. Sometimes a girl just has to swear. It’s not healthy to hold that stuff in. Besides, if it’s not overdone, swearing is cathartic & it can reduce pain. So no self-censoring here. As my mom & I talked, I laughed because, in an incredibly tame way, it was reminiscent of Kathy Griffin running her Grammy acceptance speech past her adorable mom, Maggie. Tip that “inspiration juice”, Maggie. Tip it, girl!
(Video is definitely NSFW or sensitive souls, people. See? I warned you. You’re welcome.)
Well-meaning people give bad advice.
In my life, that advice has come from people I love. “You shouldn’t sing.” “You shouldn’t smile.” Or, “Smile more.” (That last one’s maddeningly sexist when it comes from a male.) It took a bit of time to shake those head-spinningly conflicting pearls of “wisdom” off – to do things my way. Ultimately, I’m grateful for those comments steeling me against the folks in my life who said, “But everybody’s doing it.” Not me; I march to the beat of my own drummer. I smile when I want to; I sing @ the top of my lungs (in the car & the shower only); and I swear.
Censoring isn’t limited to language. Certainly not.
People will tell you what to wear/eat/read/think; who to hang with; and what to do with your life – if you let them. Basically, they’ll tell you not to color outside their lines. Keep in mind that their desires to limit you speak volumes about them, not you. My mom shared a story with me that sparked this post: Years ago (ok, decades ago), she walked in on my lovely grandmother telling my father that he shouldn’t let me read “Jaws”. It would be too scary &, after all, I’m a girl. Mom-to-the-rescue informed her that her 12-year-old-daughter could read anything she wanted. (Go, Mom!) But by then, I was already heavily influenced by Tolkien, King, Dahl, Homer & Poe. Benchley’s “Jaws” was paling in comparison, anyway.
You knew this would get around to pets, right? I believe they “swear”, too.
Not sure about that? Have you ever bathed a cat? Enough said. You can reduce your pets’ angst (frustration/fear) by not censoring them. “Listen” to what they say: learn & observe their body language. Stop @ their 1st signs of discomfort. Give them space & time to relax. Let them approach; don’t force anything. And never, ever punish a growl (read as censoring). If you do, your pet may act out on her emotions & bite without warning, because you suppressed her growl. That’s much more dangerous. Be grateful for the growl. Even my precious Rusty has fired a few choice “words” @ me in the past. One of his motivations was being moved from a comfy place on the couch after an exhausting day. He stiffened as I approached, so I stopped. I happily said, “Let’s go!”, and walked away. His mood instantly changed, and he moved himself. We celebrated by heading to the kitchen for a goody. He hasn’t “couch cursed” me since. But I’m a trainer. Get positive, professional help if your pet grumps @ you. And watch this:
Back to “Jaws”: Remember this classic scene?
Well, I think that Rusty & I just might need a bigger ….. swear jar.
(Rusty’s off to a ruff start already.) For the record, my mother is one of the strongest, most independently minded women I know. She might not admit it, but I get my autonomous streak from her. And, I’m proud to say that she’s currently reading the deliciously uncensored book that I gave her, “Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me“. Go, girl!
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