Posts Tagged by Brave
|June 23, 2014||Posted by Ruth under Inspirational & motivational, Lifestyle, Music, Videos|
I stood face-to-face with her, not more than 3 feet between us.
After desperately hoping that I’d excavate something acceptable from my suitcase for the surprise-to-me event we were headed to, I found myself in this position. Her eyes emotionlessly scanned me from the top of my head to the tips of my not-as-cute-as-could-be comfy travel shoes. Then, her silent review reversed itself, up again – finally resting on my eyes. I had felt her conditional gaze crawl over every inch of my body. By the time she finished taking it all in, her continued silence was too much for me. I averted my eyes & promptly kicked myself for not having brought something cuter that surely would have passed inspection. For the rest of the evening, I was certain that I didn’t fit in.
I could go on about growing a spine; clever retorts I should have/could have spewed; girl power; & women having a sisterhood responsibility to lift each other up. But blahblahblah.
Instead, I am nothing but grateful for that moment now. It taught me endless lessons that I want to gift to you. Maybe you’re already all over this stuff, & you could teach me a thing or three. But I remember the cold electricity of her examination all too well. I know that even the best of us gals (& guys) would be hard pressed to make peace with that scenario. Let me help….
I don’t hate the haters. I don’t take in toxic critics. I made peace with 4 simple promises:
I will never avert my eyes again. When I encounter a scrutinizer, I watch them peruse my person until our eyes meet. Then I smile – a genuinely gentle, warm smile with crinkly eyes. Just like I do with a dog or cat. What happens after that is on them.
I love to people watch. I admire a pulled together, tatted-up hipster; a boho beauty; or an accessory maven. I will look at their effortless style with an eye to translate it to my style. However, I never judge. And I always approach them to let them know that IMHO they knocked it outta the park. The BEST convos come out of this last bit. I met a charming barista with an amazing fly tattoo. It was art on his arm – a true inspiration for my wanna-be dragonfly tat. I spotted a gal whose style completely matched her energy: quirky, comfy wedges; rolled-up boyfriend skinnies; cropped floral jacket over a longer flowy blouse; cat-eye glasses; & mid-length curly-curly red hair. I walked across the restaurant to tell her how adorbs she was (“I love your style!”), and her jaw dropped. She said, “Really?! My kids are always telling me I dress too old.” I told her I thought she rocked it. One drink & 5 more minutes, and I think we could have been besties. Loved her!
Learn how to accept a compliment. Gone are my days of deflecting kind words & letting unkind silent stares scar. If someone gives the gift of a compliment, at the very least, allow them as a kindness to them. Trust me, take it in with a heartfelt thanks as a kindness to yourself, as well.
This is a biggy that I learned from my pets. They bounce out of bed with gunk in their eyes; pottying & breakfast on their minds (usually in that order); & big goofy grins on their bedheads. No one looks in the mirror. No one comments on my appearance. My takeaways: Skip the mirror & the scale first thing in the morning. Love yourself and your family of pets & peeps. When you do get cute, get cute for you alone, wink @ yourself in that mirror, & move on. Take this in: You are lovely & loveable. Your pets know it. If your humans don’t know it, give them a warm smile & move on.
This is not all as shallow as you might think.
It’s not about appearances. It’s about basic decency & kindness. (I almost said “human decency”, but I think we have too much to learn from animals on that concept to claim it.) Truth is, as a wise friend just pointed out to me, I would never have passed that inspection. And that’s ok. That’s on her. Stick with me….and P!nk:
Zoom way out from fashion to see the greater truth:
We are part of all life on this planet. We’re linked with all sentient beings. If you’re not sure about that, feel the difference in your soul between doing a kindness for a person or an animal vs judging or turning your back on them. Take time to be grateful for kindness gifted to you rather than dismissing it as minor in comparison to life’s negatives. Soak up those feelings; remember them. Take them in, my friends. Call on them when you’re down. Pay them forward. Today, do a kindness. It will ripple through the links more than you know. The Universe will take it in and hug you back.
There’s tons to think about here. Please join the convo.
Be as shallow or as philosophical or as zen as you like. We won’t judge you. We think you’re adorbs just as you are. (Say thank you, cutie!) xo ~Ruth & Rusty~
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